My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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