The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
