my vag is so smooth its legendary
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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