i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
