Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
