Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
