You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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