you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My liver just had a heart attack.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
