I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
