Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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