Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
