Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
