Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
