He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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