Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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