Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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