all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
