ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
