About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
