so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
