You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
