Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
