I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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