don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sobbing to NWA
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
