Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
vagina is talking i cant
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't want my vagina anymore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
