Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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