Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
