**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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