I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How does one acquire holy water?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
