There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I did not marry a roomba.
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