All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
