I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just gargled with NyQuil
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We need to get me chipped asap
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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