New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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