Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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