Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
