the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
