True but thats because hes a fetus.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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