i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
