either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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