Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
