eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
