It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The adults are the big ones right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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