how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
