That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
