You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
