So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
