he shaved USA in his pubs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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