I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
