the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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