I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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