Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A bitchslap is in order.
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