I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
