and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
